hey tumblr when are you going to make personifications of ups and fedex to ship
you were saying
now where’s the fanfic?
FedEx and UPS lay together, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies.
“I sure hope this lasts longer than 5 to 7 business days” UPS thought as he laid his head against FedEx’s shoulder.
“But what if we get caught?” asked FedEx, resting his head on UPS’ chest. “We won’t” UPS assured him. “But we’ve been doing this for 8 days now! They must know something has hap-” FedEx started, but he was cut off by a firm kiss.
“You’re forgetting that today is Sunday. we don’t deliver on weekends, so we still have two days together.” UPS said, smiling slyly. FedEx stared into UPS’ eyes. ‘Two days,’ FedEx thought, ‘Two whole days left.’
“I know how we can make ample use of our time,” said FedEx, kissing UPS’ neck gently. “And we can start right now.” he finished. FedEx kissed UPS’ neck once more before moving to his collar bones. He continued down UPS’ abdomen, pausing every so often.
Beneath the sheet, FedEx could feel…
This post just keeps getting better and better
Just then USPS showed up and stood not far from them, enraged and cheeks stained with tears “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!” USPS started “I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” he said through sobs “FUCK YOU UPS FUCK YOU” he said walking away like the pansy he is “you were cheating on me… THIS WHOLE TIME?” FedEX was shocked and disappointed “i-i can explain” UPS stuttered out “we’re over” FedEX said as he ran away never to be seen again. “now what” UPS wondered “maybe i can get WWUMS in bed, he is in college after all”